attack of the clumsies

Yup, that's me! I am in a world of awkward pain right now because I got mugged by my clumsiness Friday!

If you've known me for any length of time you know that I am not the most graceful person God ever made. Far from it actually. I can fall of anything almost anywhere, even if it seems impossible. Have you ever fallen out of a passenger seat while buckled? Exactly. Klutzy Bethany started to disappear after I had been cheering for a few years. The new muscle was doing some serious good to my coordination! I wasn't exactly normal, but it was pretty close!

Now that I haven't been cheering--I can't believe it's been three years!--my clumsiness has started slowly creeping back up. I drop more, I stumble more, but no big deal. Until Friday, when I had two of the most epic falls of my life!

Epic Spill Number 1

Syd and I had walked all the way to Hooligan's and back for lunch so I was running a little behind to pick the kids up and I decided to rush to the Crimson Ride to make it to my car faster. As I jumped, or tried to jump, over the barrier my foot caught on the chain and my body slammed face-first into the sidewalk! SMACK! I fell with a lot of momentum so my feet came over my head behind me, causing my backpack to go over my head and trap me! I had to roll out from under it! I would've busted my face but I happened to be wearing a hat and the bill hit first! Hooray for hats! 

The bus drove off without me, I scraped my knee (it bled all down my leg), crushed my to-go cup, and of course there were a TON of people around! Nothing was really but my pride and Sydney was laughing so hard, I couldn't even be embarrassed! Instead, I was that weird kid giggling to myself on the walk back to my car.

Epic Spill Number 2

At work later I'd cleaned up my knee and put the babies down for a nap before 2:45 when I meet Rylee at the bus stop at the end of the street. Since I didn't have to push stroller, I decided to be an awesome babysitter and bring Ry her scooter to ride home. About halfway to the stop I think,

"Hey! It would be faster and way more fun if I rode her scooter down there!"

Bad, bad idea. (1) I haven't ridden I scooter in about 8 years and (2) this is a child's toy. It's itty-bitty! But that doesn't cross my mind as I hop on and go speeding down the street because I am way too cool to worry. I forgot how much hill effect scooter speed and started going too fast. The wheels started wobbling and I knew I was going to crash, but I'm too awesome to crash so, forgetting about the break, I casually jump off the speeding death-trap and run beside it. Scooter is going too fast, I run slow, my legs lose it, scooter falls and I good sliding across the pavement and roll to the sidewalk!

I don't know how many of you have ever slid across hot asphalt with your bear skin, but I DO NOT recommend it! Oh it hurt so bad! It's like a crazy painful carpet burn. There is now no skin on my left elbow, a huge scab on my left knee, and a fierce burn on my hip. I can't wear bandages because it sticks to the skin. If I bend too far they all rip open and I can't breathe. It is super hard to wash my hair and wear anything on my lower half but undies. 

I'm just sooo glad I had that hat on.

How's your week going?

Are you clumsy like me?

If so, please please please tell me about your biggest wipe out!