Illegitimate and Unproven

This weekend I've come down with some really nasty cold/flu/sinus infection mess. I pride myself on the fact that I don't get sick very often but when I do, man, it hits like a ton of bricks!

Of course, you can't be sick and have nothing to do. That would be too easy! I've also spent the weekend completing the first half of Lifeguard training. Training has actually been fun but giving CPR ventilations would be a lot easier if I could properly get air into my own lungs before blowing into the dummy's. Yesterday was absolute hell trying to get through the day without giving up. There was fever, coughing, lots of gross nose stuff, aches, and even a little vomit. I have neither the time nor the money for a visit to the doctor and anyone who normally takes care of me was out of town so I had to treat myself. Today was much, much better so I thought I'd share my secret to getting over colds fast.

Bethany's Completely Illegitimate and Unproven Cure for Icky Sicky Crap

As soon as possible, go to Target and pick up the following:
1 gallon of orange juice with lots of pulp
1 bag of original Hawaiian rolls
Mio in your favorite flavor (I like fruit punch or lemonade)
Vick's Vapor Rub
Robitussin Daytime Cold+Flu if, like me, you're unfortunate enough to have to participate in life.

You'll also need cotton socks, a nighttime medicine, and a praying mamma if you don't have them already as well as a copy of your favorite movie. My go-to movie is You've Got Mail. I like to pretend I'm as adorable and charming as a flu-ridden 1998 Meg Ryan when I actually resemble a Walker from The Walking Dead.

Once home with all the needed supplies, change into your baggiest, least attractive sweats. Pour yourself one cup of orange juice and one very large class of ice water flavored with Mio. The juice will replenish electrolytes and vitamins while the water hydrates and flushes your system. Place the glasses within arm's reach of your bed. Open the bag of rolls and place near the drinks.
Next, slather the bottoms of your feet, yes feet, with Vick's vapor rub and cover with cotton socks. This will help with any congestion. Don't ask me why, but it works.
Finally, take a dose of the nighttime medicine, pop in your movie, and get into bed. Finish both drinks before drifting off the sleep and eat the rolls with semi-reckless abandonment. You're sick, you deserve them. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about the carbs.
I try to go to bed as soon as I get home so that I can get 10+ hours. I believe that rest is the best thing you can possibly do and since this is the only weekend I'm not bogged down in school assignments, I took full advantage and got a whopping 14 hours.
 The next day you should feel like a whole new person! I was able to do in-water rescues without drowning! Remember to take a dose of Robitussin every 4 hours and keep hydrated.

If this doesn't work for you, well, I'm not a doctor. Why are you taking my advice?

I also make my own cough syrup now that I'm of age (actually, my Pawpaw gave this to me as a kid. Don't tell!)
2 Tbs Whiskey, warmed
Squeeze of lemon
Bit of honey

It will definitely quiet your cough, soothe your throat, and make you feel all warm inside, even if you're a wimp like me and gag a little. Seriously though,  only 2 tablespoons. Don't get lousy off the cough syrup, ya filthy animal.

Puppy Fever

So, yeah, I have a major, overwhelming case of puppy fever. I think its because of all the extra time I've gotten to spend with my dog since we've been "snowed in"... Or maybe its baby fever expressing itself in a lesser, more financially viable form. Either way, now I'm going to show you some puppy pictures! HOORAY FOR PUPPIES!

My sweet Jack. Look how handsome that face is!

He's such a great dog! Australian Shepherds also come in miniatures! Can you believe it? All that fluff and cute smashed into a smaller package. Eeeeeeeeeeek!

Tom loves Basset Hounds, with their adorable floppy ears and short legs. To me, they all seem like they should be named Silas. Maybe next we'll get a big-eared, sad-eyed hound dog named Silas. 

 I imagine they sound like Copper from Fox and the Hound when they howl. Awe!

I have always liked large breed dogs because you can squeeze the crap out of them and they just love it and lick your face with giant tongues. I love the idea of having a dog that weighs more than I do. So I think I'd like to have a Great Dane like this freckled cutie! 

I don't know if you know this, but we used to have a German Shepherd named Flex. Tommy got him for his 18th birthday. Sadly, we lost Flex in the April 27th tornado. He was such a good dog. Look how tiny he was when we first brought him home!

He didn't stay that way for long!

And finally, there is always the trusty all-American canine sidekick: the Golden Retriever. Precious. 

Goldens and Aussies have very similar temperaments and I can just see them playing together so well! Jack needs a baby brother or sister! However, our 500 square foot apartment (along with Tommy) says otherwise. 

There are also times like tonight when Jackie is curled up quietly beside me and I think, "One is just right."

Hope you enjoyed the pup pictures! Have a lovely weekend!

He's feelin 22!!

I'm breaking my social media fast to tell my husband Happy 22nd Birth(yester)day! 

Last night we had brownies and secret conversation with sweet friends and Sunday I threw him a camping themed surprise party! 

I've been planning his party for about a year and, let me tell you, I am NOT good at keeping secrets from my hubby. He's my best friend so when I'm excited about something he's the first person I want to tell! But I was a good sneaky sneak and mostly pulled it off at the end. He was only a little suspicious when he saw all the extra cars at my parent's house. 

Happy Birthday, Mr. Awesome. I love you always. 

Special thanks to my parents, brother, and Emily for all their help!